Having grown up partly in Michigan and partly in Arkansas, I have spent my share of time at lakes and ponds. Some of them were really nice like Silver Lake. Some of them not so nice, like Goldenrod. Whatever the case, the fascination with water was the same, as it is, I believe, for a lot of people.

The water holds a lot of memories for me, good and bad. I remember begging and begging for days on end to go but was always told no. I remember heading out finally and being so excited that I was ready hours before we left to actually get there when the park opened at noon. I remember floating with my ears just below the water level so that I could pretend I was the only one left in the world and soaring through the clouds. I remember the icky, slimy green and brown things which threatened to tangle my ankles and pull me under when I went too far out. I remember the scary-excited feeling that brought.

But that’s neither here nor there for this post, I suppose. I’ve been doing a significant amount of work on myself the last couple of months and have finally started being able to put out coherent ideas and thoughts. I’m not all better or together but I’m starting to articulate better, which is a relief because I really do have great ideas and thoughts that are worth sharing.

It is now that I want to talk about comparisons and metaphors. Both of these are good when you are comparing apples to apples and oranges to oranges. They don’t compute , however, when comparing apples to oranges. When comparing like items or ideas, metaphors come in handy. An apple is an apple is an apple. They both have the same characteristics and both are, for the most part, just like the other.

When comparing apples and oranges, although there are more characteristics, you have to stop comparing the similarities after saying they both are fruit, have seeds and skin, etc. They are not carbon copies, although maybe similar in makeup and characteristics.

I freely admit that I don’t know everything, but after having been on this path for the last 19 years I’m going to give it a shot at explaining how I have seen/felt things work.

It is not enough to compare the responsibility of the ripples in the pond caused by our rock to the responsibilities of our actions in life. They are not the same. They are apples and oranges. These are objects who do not have free will being manipulated by a sentient being who does.

I remember being at a lake or pond in Flint and feeding bread to the carp. That first crumb of bread dropped onto the surface of the water made all kinds of ripples of which I was clearly responsible for. Have you ever fed the fish like that? What happens, do you remember? Especially with carp and bluegill, once they notice that food they all crowd around waiting for more. Sometimes they even end up half out of the water like they are begging for more!

What I notice now is that the fish, having a will of their own, have made their own ripples which are suddenly bumping into and confusing my ripples from the bread. Now, it can easily be said that it is still my responsibility because I caused the fish to come out of the water by putting the bread down. But did I really? I’ve spent many years watching various fish jumping out of the water for various reasons. It is possible that they would have ended up at that spot, making ripples of their own, had I not put the bread in the water.

But again, that is really apples and oranges, IMHO. In practicing witchcraft, whatever the tradition or training, I have my own perceptions of how things work. I’m not pulling this out of my ass and hoping it makes sense. In dealing with witchcraft, at least where other people are concerned, the waters are murky. It’s not so black and white when you have two sentient beings who have free will. Their ripples undoubtedly bump into mine and mine into theirs. But we have the semi-unique ability to make an educated choice about how we will react to our situations and surroundings.

Admittedly, I will not always do this in a positive manner, choosing to react instead of act. This is a problem of mine that I am working on. But that is my responsibility. If someone calls me a bitch, I have a choice. If someone comes up to me and hits me, I have a choice. If someone comes up to hug me, I have a choice. It is always my responsibility to act in a manner that is in line with my code of ethics and morals. It is never anyone’s fault but mine.

In dealing with people who have the ability to make educated and informed choices, the responsibility only goes so far. Then their ripples start bumping up against mine, changing the look of the whole damned thing.

There are so many things I could write about tonight, especially after being MIA for the last couple of months where this site is concerned. I’m sure I’ll get around to explaining that but that is for another time.

Right now I want to talk about something I encountered this evening which was very thought provoking and made me realize just how far outside I really am. Tonight I went to a local (i.e. North County) meetup, which I never go to anymore because of reasons that would take a whole post to explain. For you, dear reader, I’ll defer that post to another more appropriate time.

I was there talking with a friend for a little over an hour before anyone else arrived but when they did….they came in a drove. It had been so long since I had been to one of these things that I didn’t think to guard myself and was unprepared for the rush of crap that inevitably comes with these types of situations. People came and it was a whole 30 seconds before I started shaking uncontrollably and started with the migraine. Took about half an hour, easy, before I was able to get myself under control again. I’m not used to having to censor myself anymore and actually protect my vitality from those around me. My bad.

Towards the end of the evening, a new woman brought up a situation occuring with her daughter in school about other people being curious about her being a witch and whatnot. How easily that title is thrown around these days….but again, that’s for another time.

I was confused in the beginning but then I realized that this woman is among the oh-so-many people I’ve met who equate witchraft with wicca and so she was asking how her daughter should handle the curiosity of her schoolmates who think that she can put spells on people and make brooms fly.

Without offering anything I believe, I simply asked questions about why they believe that people *cannot* make brooms ‘fly.’ Why can’t people ‘orb’ like she so quaintly put it? Charmed has done wonders for the pagan community. /sigh

But seriously, here’s my point… Pagans will talk down to people who say that they can do these mystical things. They make jokes about, “Well, if you can do it then why aren’t you sharing the secrets because I want to fly to Hawaii…(insert more idiot comments here)”

My questions were simple. Who’s to say that these people can’t make brooms fly? Who’s to say that these people cannot ‘orb?’ Who’s to say that these things are impossible simply because *you* haven’t seen them? Of course, no one wants to have an intelligent discussion about it. They just want to dismiss it and laugh about it and believe that they know so much more than the naive young ‘uns at the dinner table. You say you want to know the physics behind it? Quantum physics is opening new doors every day. Maybe if you stopped talking for a milisecond, you would dare to step through.

‘Broom flying’ is nothing more than simple levitation. Right? Telekinesis, right? When you talk about flying on your broom it sounds like you’re an idiot. When you talk about levitation, backed up by cutting edge quantum physics now commonplace in laboratories across the world, it becomes more palatable. Broom flying is possible when you see it in that light. Levitation is not only possible but can, and has, been done. How do I know this? Because I’ve done it. I don’t make claims to be able to do it ‘on demand’ like a circus monkey or even to be able to do it on purpose, or well for that matter. But I have done it and I know I am not the only one. Miss P saw me do it on the counter of the store. She’ll tell you all about it, I’m sure. But when I saw that she knew what I was doing, the paper fell over and I wasn’t able to do it again. Doesn’t change the fact that it is possible and I did it. If I can do it, I’m sure there are, at the very least, dozens of others who can do it and do it well. In middle school I was able to do things a lot better, but I think we all have more ‘whatever’ then than we do when we grow up and allow our minds and logic interfere. I’m not claiming it to be magical, it is probably static electricity or something akin.

Anyway….

There are large handfuls of people who have made a difference in how pagans, witches and wiccans are viewed in general society. We are becoming more accepted, or at the very least tolerated. But in this quest for acceptance and recognition those people have not given anything of value to the newcomers. They have fought so hard for the world to accept a *religion* that they have forgotten the magick that we all have at our disposal should we choose to open our minds and realize our forgotten powers.

For most, there is religion here. But precious few remember the magick, the knowledge that all is possible should we simply choose to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is!

You said earlier that I am the exception to every rule and in my heart I know that. Try as I might to be ‘normal’ and just like the other pagans and witches…..I know that I am different. I know that the magick is there.