Today I have a very personal WTF for you. Maybe it’s something you can identify with, maybe not. On January 6th I will have been on this earth for 3 decades. 30 years. 10,950 days. 15,768,000 minutes. Where has the time gone? Seriously, WTF??

I have two children, a first and only husband of my very own, a home, two cars, a dog, a cat, a little garden. I cook our dinners, do our laundry, homeschool my children and keep our house clean. When, exactly, should I start feeling like an adult? Sometimes I still feel like I’m playing house. I don’t see myself as 30 and I certainly don’t feel like I’m 30. I see other women on television and in the ‘real world’ who are 30 and they look so mature and responsible and old to me. Do I look that old? I don’t think I look 30 but I’m sure I do.

It’s hard for me to comprehend this passage of time. I wonder if it’s yet another psychosis. Like, one day I’m just going to crack and be one of those old ladies we all laugh at who wear ’stylish’ clothing three sizes too small, paint layers of color on their faces to hide their wrinkles and dance a jig to hip hop music in the local clubs, embarrassing their children at every turn.

Acceptance. That’s my goal for this year. Acceptance of myself, as I am. Gray hair and all.