Today I have a very personal WTF for you. Maybe it’s something you can identify with, maybe not. On January 6th I will have been on this earth for 3 decades. 30 years. 10,950 days. 15,768,000 minutes. Where has the time gone? Seriously, WTF??

I have two children, a first and only husband of my very own, a home, two cars, a dog, a cat, a little garden. I cook our dinners, do our laundry, homeschool my children and keep our house clean. When, exactly, should I start feeling like an adult? Sometimes I still feel like I’m playing house. I don’t see myself as 30 and I certainly don’t feel like I’m 30. I see other women on television and in the ‘real world’ who are 30 and they look so mature and responsible and old to me. Do I look that old? I don’t think I look 30 but I’m sure I do.

It’s hard for me to comprehend this passage of time. I wonder if it’s yet another psychosis. Like, one day I’m just going to crack and be one of those old ladies we all laugh at who wear ’stylish’ clothing three sizes too small, paint layers of color on their faces to hide their wrinkles and dance a jig to hip hop music in the local clubs, embarrassing their children at every turn.

Acceptance. That’s my goal for this year. Acceptance of myself, as I am. Gray hair and all.

I received an email a couple of days ago, a request to be added as someone’s friend on MySpace. My MySpace profile uses my real name so I can’t link you to the guy’s profile to show you how creepy it is. You know, with me staying anonymous and all. Anyhoo….I get this request and I don’t recognize the name so I visit the profile to see who this person is. Sometimes you get these real goobers who go around sending out all kinds of requests and it’s just weird.

I get to this guy’s profile and it turns out to be very….mental. The picture is a prison pic, jumpsuit and all. His hobbies are working in the prison laundry and playing cards for smokes and he can’t wait for 2007. Okay, very easy to do and could just be funny. Jump to his little ‘About Me’ section. He says that he’s working on ‘The —— Project.’ The dashes being my name, of course. Anyhoo, he apologizes to the general female portion of MySpace dribble and says he will only add women whose name is ——. He has 200 friends. They are all women named ——.

Apparently, some chicks out there don’t find this creepy at all which amazes me. But I have an advantage. I have him figured out. A chick named —— put him in prison and when he gets out, he’s going to track down and murder everyone named ——. Uh huh. Yeah, go ahead. Add me as a friend, you sicko freak headed wangdoodle.

I think not.

Yeah, okay. I forgot about it yesterday. But no worries, I heard a couple of things that were very interesting today that are taking priority on my ‘what the fuck?’ list.

By now I’m sure everyone has figured out that 103.7 (San Diego) has turned to talk radio. To be honest, I’m loving it. I finally get to hear the lovely Tom Leykis, whom I haven’t heard since our days of living near Seattle in ‘96-’97. I’ve always loved his show simply because it’s entertaining. I may not always agree with him, of course, but it is definitely entertaining. Especially when he gets on his Atheist soapbox. Anyhoo, I was listening to him tonight and he was talking about how some states have lowered the blood alcohol levels as part of a renewed interest in stopping drunk driving. First, let me say that I am a very strange person when it comes to political beliefs. Rather than lean toward one party, I kinda follow what I decide is something called “Common Sense,’ or CS. My daily life is based on this elusive principle, CS. Yeah, I’m Pagan. Yeah, I like strip clubs (but not in CA), yeah I smoke a little dope every now and again, mainly once or twice a year and only then if I’m lucky. But when it comes to my children, I’m extremely conservative. I want my kids to stay kids for as long as possible and enjoy that time. I don’t want violent sex offenders out on the street (more on that later) and I don’t think women should be allowed to strut in the grocery store half nekked. Moving on. So Tom was talking about drinking and driving and how these new policies don’t stop it, just put more people into the system, because the penalties aren’t strict or even enforced to the fullest extent of the law. Agreed. Then he takes a couple of callers from drunk ass mutherfuckers who are driving down the road as they’re on the phone. This guy fills a water bottle with vodka every night, puts it in his freezer and takes it to work the next morning. Then he puts it in his lounge area fridge at work. Then he drinks it on his way home from work. A 1 liter bottle of vodka while he’s driving down the road. Then this mutherfucker has the nerve to say that he’s not ever worried about being pulled over and arrested because the firefighter sticker he has on his car is a ‘get out of jail free card.’ His exact words. Then he says that even if he did get arrested he wouldn’t stop the drinking and driving until about the 3rd offense where the penalties get really rough, or he gets into an accident and seriously hurts someone. Seriously. What the fuck is up with that????? Things like that make me so angry and scared to drive my children around in the car! God(s) help them if anyone ever hits my car because they’re stupid. When it comes to things like that, I have the worst road rage and would probably get out and proceed to beat the living shit out of them.

Next we have our lovely San Diego court system. I really am losing all respect for authority in this ridiculous country. Remember CS? Completely lacking in our law enforcement agencies. For real. One Douglas ‘Jackass’ Badger, aged 63, has been ordered to be released from Atascadero State Hospital. This fuckhead has a 20 year history of VIOLENT SEXUAL CRIMES including, but not limited to, sexually assulting male hitchikers with a gun. 20 fucking years! He’s already been released and recaptured and now we get to do it all over again. Yay. Back in July, when the order for his release was first given, it was rescinded because the psychologist who deemed him ‘fit’ had an affair with another sexually violent criminal. A little partial, dontcha think? Now the plan is that he will be released when a plan is in place for him to be placed in a ‘highly structured setting.’ Umm, excuse me but isn’t that what the fucking mental hospital was????? Tell me, what ‘highly structured setting’ is there in the community? Oh yeah, there is also the typical ‘poor me, i’m not responsible for my behavior because i was abused’ bullshit. Said asshole was angry at his father for beating him when he was little and he took it out on his victims. Well, you know something dickweed? I was angry at my sister for beating me. I was angry at my mother for ignoring me. I was angry with the assholes at school who pretended I didn’t exist and the teachers who ignored my depression. I was angry with the mutherfucker who molested me when I was a baby. I was angry with my ex boyfriend for raping me. Where am I now? Fucking normal, that’s where. Asshole. What the fuck? You find a way to deal and you move on. And if you’re so nuts that something clicks in your head and you go off on a violent tangent, you should never be let out of confinement anyway. Personally, I don’t believe that mental illness is ever cured and once you have gone off the deep end and hurt someone, you’re gone for good. And I don’t want anyone emailing me about how depression is mental illness and all of that shit. My blog, my opinion and I don’t believe depression is a mental illness. Don’t care that it’s classified as a mental illness and I don’t care if you say that you have been on pills for 15 years and now you’re all peachy freaking ducky. It’s not the pills that have ‘cured’ you, it’s the counseling that goes along with being prescribed the pills that has given you the tools to deal with the depression. And don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, either. Been there, done that, drank the charcoal, wore the nutty gown.

Oh boy, better stop there. Sometimes I get going on about the craziest things. Anyway, that’s my WTF for today.

Sheep. That’s all Americans are. Big, fat, hairy, brainless, spineless sheep. It’s so much easier to follow common thought and theory instead of (now here’s a novel idea) THINKING. Yep. That big thing inside of our skulls that feels kind of tight when you have an orgasm is actually good for something! Go figure.

Dan Brown should have put a disclaimer on his book. Or better yet, one of those little secondary titles underneath the main title. Something like this: “The daVinci Code” and beneath it would read “Or How To Make A Fool Of Yourself For A Few Years Debating The Content Of This Book Where You Will End Up Looking Like A Moron Because It’s Fiction.”

Umm….hello people! It’s fiction! Shit, my son learned this word in kindergarten. Made up, untrue, for fun and profit. It’s marketed as fiction. The first page of the book is titled “Fact:” and further lists all of the things contained in the book which are fact, leaving out a few key points, but whatever. Anyhoo the point is that the ‘facts’ in this book take up a whole two, narrow, very small paragraphs.

Get a freaking life people. Just enjoy the book.

Imagine the good that could have come from keeping one man alive. With his high profile supporters he could have really made a marked difference in the future of gangs all over the country.

Clemency is a powerful tool but only if you choose to use it. Wasn’t there an article in the paper a few days ago about a man who spent something like 17 years in prison, claiming innocence the whole time? Finally his case was reopened and he was released. Men who rape and murder children are left in prison, some even being released eventually with our limited capacity/laws to monitor them. Yet this man, who could have had endless opportunities to do wonderful things, dies by lethal injection.

What must one man do before he is forgiven? What are the lengths we have to go to before we are deemed worthy of a chance? I back the death penalty whole heartedly but there are instances where it is no longer appropriate. This is one of those times.

Rest in peace, Tookie.

So, this is going to be a short one due to the fact that I decided to do this so late in the week. Now remember, I’m not always so witty so keep your expectations low. And on to the first…

When I think of milkshakes, I think of smooth strawberry milkshakes from McHell. Best thing they make and I love them. Well, I used to. I’m sure you all have seen the milkshake commercial on television by now. At least, those who are in this area. I’m not sure if it’s broadcast anywhere else and I’m almost positive it’s not in Middletown, USA. Anyhoo, this commercial is for Carl’s Jr and features Mr. Everyday shaking his groove thang to the song “Get Busy.’ With a cow. Let me say that again just so you know I am serious. There is a guy who is dancing to a song with a cow. Not just any song, mind you. A line from the song is “It’s all good girl turn me on ’til a early morn’.” Uh huh. Hello!?!? Is it just me or does that guy look really happy? Seriously, check out his eyes. He’s digging it! Don’t believe me? Check it out… Reminds me of that commercial for some children’s medicine where the little girl says “But it will hurt if I swallow!” In case you’re wondering who the ‘geniuses’ were who gave the go ahead for this one, it’s Los Angeles advertising agency Mendelsohn|Zien. Go MZ. Moving on…..

A Jehovah’s Witness showed up at Cathy Infusino’s apartment by mistake and was looking for a neighbor who was interested in the religion. She apologized for the error and tried to leave but Infusino grabbed her by the hair and pulled her into the apartment where she used a butcher knife to beat her. I would post that article on my front door but I would probably be censored and end up in jail or something. I’ll bet all of the Witnesses are checking their lists twice this holiday season!

Since you asked, I’ll tell you. In light of the stupidity that seems to run rampant in this state, I am compelled to make my precious WTF a weekly post. The plan is to collect various WTF items throughout the week and post a commentary on Sundays. Believe me, I already have a couple ready to go but I will hold off until Sunday. You know, to keep you guessing.

If you have something to contribute, feel free to email me your own commentaries or article liks at me@onbeingme.com

This whole Christmas thing really has me in a tizzy. I simply cannot believe how narrow minded people are. Now, I’m talking people in general. Christian, Pagan, white, black, zebra or lizard. People are just all fuckered up.

I’m a member of a few (okay dozens) of Yahoo groups for various topics. Some religious, some sexual, some about homeschool and some fairly normal in the grand scope of things. One of my Yahoo groups started a thread which prompted my previous post here. This is a homeschooling group based in San Diego and is comprised of those who homeschool, those who work with charter schools (like us) and those just starting out and interested in homeschool. All around, as far as homeschooling information goes, a decent group. There’s a lot of information that has proved invaluable to me in planning lessons.

However, on a social level they don’t seem to be that friendly. When I joined, I took the time to type something up to introduce myself to the group, as is curteous. I didn’t mention anything unrelated and surely didn’t mention I was Pagan because, in my experience, the majority of those who homeschool are Christian. Now before you right wing freaks start giving me comments to moderate remember this: I said those three key words which get me off the hook, ‘in my experience.’ Moving on.

Anyhoo, since there are quite a few people who post regularly I figured I would get the standard welcome and introductory questions about what we are studying, who we are with, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nope. Nothing. It wasn’t posted in the middle of an overwhelming thread and the posts per day are a reasonable amount, nothing to make me feel my introduction was overlooked. I did receive emails from 3 ladies who emailed me directly asking the usual. I responded but that was the end of it. Nothing back. In about 6 weeks. Nothing. And yes, this was well before the email snafu. Then, a couple of days ago I remembered that it is a Yahoo group. And when my name shows up on a post, it links to my Yahoo profile. Of course I have some general interests such as military, sewing and California. I also have ‘other’ interests such as occult, magick and lesbian. I can’t very well explain in my profile that ‘lesbian’ is there so I would stop getting IMs from guys wanting to fuck the once hot chick in the dress. That would defeat the purpose. So it’s all there in black and white.

I have not posted to the group since, and I won’t, but something else has pushed my big red alert button and I had to write about it. The following is a direct quote from a lady on the group:

“Many Christians are very respectful of others’ religions. I believe that most Christians are very tolerant in allowing people of all faiths and no faiths to celebrate their holidays exclusively or not celebrate them at all. I have many friends who are not Christians and I am very respectful of their beliefs even when they come to my home. But when we want to celebrate our religious holidays and customs, we have to suddenly become inclusive for the whole world. This country was founded on Christian values and I don’t understand why people who do not believe in Christ and what Christmas represents, just don’t opt out if they do not want to celebrate the holiday.”

Yet another WTF moment. Let’s dissect this, shall we? SOME Christians are very respectful, just as SOME Pagans are very respectful. And WTF is up with the comment about THEIR holiday? Umm…excuse me. It may be THEIR holiday but THEIR timing has been proven to be all off. Current research shows that IF IF IF IF the story about the birth of Jesus was true, given the astronomical points in the sky that long ago, his actual birth would have been MONTHS away from December. Next, she’s very respectful of other’s beliefs EVEN when they come to her home. Well thank you, Miss Manners, for doing such a massive favor for other’s. Shouldn’t we teach our children, AND BELIEVE OURSELVES, that it is expected to behave as such? i.e. “I’m not racist, I have black friends!” So now we come to celebrating THEIR religious customs and values and having to become inclusive. Isn’t it the other way around, my friend? Let’s say that my husband was Pagan and would work on Christmas day but wanted Yule off. Do you think the government is going to say, “Gee golly, of course!” No fricken way! Christmas is shoved in our faces at every corner and we are supposed to tolerate it because we’re ‘the minority.’ If you don’t want to include me as a non-Christian, keep your X-Mas advertisements off my door and shove a candy cane up your ass. Was this country founded on Christian values? It’s my understanding that this country was founded for the purpose of setting up a fishing colony to catch fish and send them back to England to be sold. These were economic reasons, not religious reasons.

*sigh*

Now, I realize that this post may seem a bit contradictory to my previous one but it’s really not. I’m just trying to figure out a way to get the Christians to stop printing on THEIR cards ‘Yuletide Greetings!’