Obama + Xbox = Geeky Goodness!

Written by Me at 2:06 pm on Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Marilyn

Written by Me at 6:42 pm on Tuesday, November 4, 2008

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn — “I am affectionate and skeptical.”

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Be direct and clear
• * Listen to me carefully
• * Don’t judge me for my anxiety
• * Work things through with me
• * Reassure me that everything is OK between us
• * Laugh and make jokes with me
• * Gently push me toward new experiences
• * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• * being committed and faithful to family and friends
• * being responsible and hardworking
• * being compassionate toward others
• * having intellect and wit
• * being a nonconformist
• * confronting danger bravely
• * being direct and assertive

What’s Hard About Being a Marilyn

• * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• * being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• * form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or parent
• * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• * worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Samhain Introspection

Written by Me at 4:32 pm on Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I’ve spent the last hour checking up on some websites from back home. Ever since coming out here I have only been thinking of how to get back. What could I do to make it possible to go back home, if I was home, was couldn’t I do?? Oh, to have that feeling of comfort and community again. To feel like I belong, like I make a difference, like I have a purpose!

I’ve only recently come to the conclusion that home would not be home, at least not like I remembered it. I find myself saying, “…back in the day…” But truly, things would and could never be like I remember them even if I were to go back. We would have different jobs, a different neighborhood and, dare I say it, different friends. I have learned the hard lesson that ‘out of sight, out of mind’ really is the way things work in this life. I have sent emails, texts and voicemails to which I receive no reply.

This time of the year always makes me a little sad and introspective but being here, it is most definitely harder. Here the weather matches my thoughts and feeds them in ways that are unhealthy and very difficult to overcome. I miss my friends but the realist in me knows that I cannot lament over what has been lost, rather I must be content and savor what has endured.

I find myself thinking more of my history and the history of my family, wondering if I will ever have those things I value to pass on to my children. Wondering if it even matters, because my flavor of history and mementos most assuredly are not theirs. Will they cherish the things that matter most to me, if only because it mattered to *me*? Will I ever have an attic filled with old sentimental junk for them to explore when I pass? Will they care?

Life has moved me into uncharted territory once again but I’m on the verge of embracing the sadness for what it is and learning to move through it instead of stopping to raise my fist in defiance. I can only say goodbye and I love you to those I seem to have lost contact with and remember home with a smile. I accept that it’s time to move on and try to see the journey ahead of me as an adventure and not quite so lonely.

It’s Times Like These

Written by Me at 4:07 pm on Thursday, August 14, 2008

that I remember just exactly how much of a social retard I am. I had it pretty good for awhile. Someplace where I fit in at least a little bit. Made a couple of friends who I could really identify with and who could accept, even if not understand, where I was coming from. Now I’m in the Twilight Zone.

Why I Don’t Use Facebook

Written by Me at 6:49 pm on Friday, August 1, 2008

I’ve recently received several invitations to sign up for Facebook and people are having a hard time understanding why I will not use it. Most people do not take the time to read the privacy notice and/or the terms that are listed on the websites they sign up for. So read the following and you’ll probably get it.

Facebook Terms of Use:
(excerpt) “Proprietary Rights in Site Content; Limited License

All content on the Site and available through the Service, including designs, text, graphics, pictures, video, information, applications, software, music, sound and other files, and their selection and arrangement (the “Site Content”), are the proprietary property of the Company, its users or its licensors with all rights reserved….”

What does this mean? Well, they tell us in another paragraph:
(excerpt) “When you post User Content to the Site, you authorize and direct us to make such copies thereof as we deem necessary in order to facilitate the posting and storage of the User Content on the Site. By posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to use, copy, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such User Content for any purpose, commercial, advertising, or otherwise, on or in connection with the Site or the promotion thereof, to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works, such User Content, and to grant and authorize sublicenses of the foregoing. You may remove your User Content from the Site at any time. If you choose to remove your User Content, the license granted above will automatically expire, however you acknowledge that the Company may retain archived copies of your User Content. Facebook does not assert any ownership over your User Content; rather, as between us and you, subject to the rights granted to us in these Terms, you retain full ownership of all of your User Content and any intellectual property rights or other proprietary rights associated with your User Content…”

Yeah….no. A bit too free with the use of things posted on their site. And for those wondering, no…MySpace does not do the same:

6. Proprietary Rights in Content on MySpace.

6.1 MySpace does not claim any ownership rights in the text, files, images, photos, video, sounds, musical works, works of authorship, applications, or any other materials (collectively, “Content”) that you post on or through the MySpace Services. After posting your Content to the MySpace Services, you continue to retain any such rights that you may have in your Content, subject to the limited license herein. By displaying or publishing (”posting”) any Content on or through the MySpace Services, you hereby grant to MySpace a limited license to use, modify, delete from, add to, publicly perform, publicly display, reproduce, and distribute such Content solely on or through the MySpace Services, including without limitation distributing part or all of the MySpace Website in any media formats and through any media channels, except Content marked “private” will not be distributed outside the MySpace Website. This limited license does not grant MySpace the right to sell or otherwise distribute your Content outside of the MySpace Services. After you remove your Content from the MySpace Website we will cease distribution as soon as practicable, and at such time when distribution ceases, the license will terminate. If after we have distributed your Content outside the MySpace Website you change the Content’s privacy setting to “private,” we will cease distribution of such “private” Content outside the MySpace Website as soon as practicable after you make the change.

Just FYI.

How They Roll

Written by Me at 6:37 am on Sunday, July 6, 2008

Finally! All is settled here in the backwoods of Wisconsin. The trip was long and boring but we all made it in one piece. We’ve been here for almost 3 months now, I think and I have not had to give a single driver the middle finger the whole time. Time moves slower here and there are actually moments to stop and smell the roses. The outdoors is beautiful and I have seen birds like cardinals and blue jays that I have not seen in years. Aside from homesickness and some problems with the elementary school, everyone seems to be getting along well. Or faking it well, anyway.

I have to say that I am tired of the rain and the flooding. Seriously. We’re in an old house and the weather last month was so horrid that we developed a sink hole outside and our basement flooded in a minor way. I am grateful that it was minor, if you can consider ankle deep minor, because many, many people here didn’t make out so well. Half of the town was evacuated and so many people suffered severe damage with a few losing almost everything. We were lucky.

The beginning was rough, adjusting to the hubby’s new work schedule but things are evening out now and we actually have a schedule for the rest of the year. You’ll almost never get that with the Navy! He’s on a schedule where he works 12 hours for 4 days and then has 4 days off and actually gets paid for overtime and holidays. But it’s still hourly and that we are not used to. The company has a lot of benefits and they are a nice, small group of people.

I’ve been asked to do some chaplaincy at one of the 4 prisons here but I think I’ll hold on that until I have a bit more experience in some other areas and get to know the people here a bit better. The last witch who lived here caused quite a stir with the local community and the school board over some really ridiculous things and I want people here to get to know me without having to think, ‘Here we go again!’

I’m still working on getting my business going, which is becoming a huge issue. In addition to licensing with the state, I also have to have a permit from the city because it’s a home business. Because my particular business is neither expressly permitted nor expressly prohibited, you have to apply for a conditional use permit which is about $300. Luckily, I am friends with a local council member so he has given me some good information about trying to get my business included in the municipal code which will reduce my licensing costs to $25 locally. We’ll see how that goes on Monday.

The weather has been chilly to me but it’s apparently really nice to everyone else. We do have our pool open and all of the guys have been in every day but I think I have been in only 3 times. It’s nice to have it available, though. We are having a lot of fun with that.

The Fourth of July fireworks here were really wonderful! They spend about $15,000 for our little town and we sat right underneath them at the local middle school. It was a nonstop show for about 45 minutes and was honestly the best one I have ever seen.

We’re preparing for our oldest to head back to California for two weeks in August to visit and I am jealous. Then we prepare for high school. Yay.

I suppose that’s the update for now. Will try to start writing again but it’s just so darn difficult with everything I’m trying to do here. Have a wonderful summer!

In My Heart

Written by Me at 6:27 pm on Monday, June 30, 2008

Well it’s time to say goodnight
And finally turn out the light
How do I say in some simple way
How much you have been on my mind

But I have to let you go
It’s time to move on, don’t you know
But you can rely on a love that won’t die
For haven’t I told you so

So let’s stop before it’s too late
And leave it all up to the fates
Cause in spite of the heartaches
And troubles in love
I’d do it all over
Do it all over again

Each of us and everyone
Carries a burden of love
But as far as I go in my heart I know
It’s you I’ll be thinking of

So what is there left to say
As I see us drifting away
You can always depend on a love that won’t end
Won’t you think of me, think of me that way

So let’s stop before it’s too late
And leave it all up to the fates
Cause in spite of the heartaches
And troubles in love
I’d do it all over again

Well it’s it’s time to move on to the rain
And finally break the chain
In spite of the heartaches
And troubles in love
I’d do it all over (do it all over)
Do it all over again
Stop before it’s too late

Cause in spite of the heartaches
And troubles in love
I’d do it all over (do it all over)
I’d do it all over again

–All Over Again, Fleetwood Mac

Too bad, so sad, life is a pain in the booty.

Written by Me at 4:19 pm on Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Moving day approacheth! I must have been in one place for entirely too long to forget how busy life gets when you’re making a big move. And it doesn’t stop for awhile, either. Today is pretty hectic what with packing our travel bags, taking things off walls, wrapping up cords, making sure every sock, dish and toaster is clean for the packers tomorrow morning. Then the weekend will be spent cleaning the house then we’re outta here!

I struggled for a long time with wanting to stay but needing something new. The military does not teach you how to stay in one place for very long so you get the itch after awhile. But this place is what we know and where we have been for an eternity, in military years. Yet time passes and before you know it another life choice has to be made.

I believe this move will be good for us. We know people where we will be so we all have friends already. It’s a hop, skip and a jump from my dad and nephews and there will be snow. After more than a decade in the land of sunshine, I’m ready.

This will be my last post until after the move as we are losing Internet access today. May have it intermittently if I can piggyback on someone’s unsecure line but that’s not a definite and tends to be sporadic anyway. We’ll see.

Next time you hear from me I’ll be in Wisconsin. Go me!

Knitty Witchy

Written by Me at 4:07 pm on Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Finally on Ravelry! I’m temporarily listed under tsezwik so check it out if you are into the fiber arts.

Perversion of the Arts

Written by Me at 3:37 pm on Tuesday, February 19, 2008

“The individual is not the sum of his common impressions but of his unusual ones. Thus familiar mysteries are created in us which are expressed in rare symbols. It is near water and its flowers that I have best understood that reverie is an ever-emanating universe, a fragrant breath that issues from things through the dreamer.”

~Gaston Bachelard, Water and Dreams

It was this quote that has brought me here to discuss what can only be referred to as a perversion of the Arts. Art, as I understand it, is highly subjective. It is reminiscent of the old adage ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.’ There are as many opinions as to what constitutes ‘Art’ as there are people alive in the world and they are all correct in their understanding. Classically speaking, art consisted of painting, sculpting, poetry and song, among a few other minor trades. I’ve gotten pretty good at drawing, all manners of sewing including needlepoint and knitting, prose and painting, although I would not consider myself an artist at any of them. Yes, I can hold my own against every other person who has a passing interest in these things but an artist? Not so much. That said, I will not be speaking of these things because I do not have the working knowledge to do so. I do, however, have more than a smidge of talent in the art of scent and so it happens that this is where I will be focusing my argument.

I once read of an experiment in which two perfumers were given the task of creating an essence around a single scent. Now keep in mind one of these was a professional, commercial perfumer working in a big ‘house’ in the perfume industry. The other was not a casual perfumer in the least, but not employed in the same line of work and they are not central to the point here anyway. The single essence is not what is to note here but the process. The commercial perfumer took a bit of time thinking and considering the single scent with which to center his universe. He then proceeded to ‘compute’ his perfume in his head. 5ml of this….3ml of that….6ml of the other…and whatnot. This formula no doubt recalled charts, diagrams and classifications whereupon he remembered what essences typically married well with others and being careful to include 4 base chords, 4 middle chords and 4 top chords, possibly a little more or less. Now remember, this man is a professional and probably makes more money in a year than you or I will see in a lifetime.

Bringing this perspective into another area, we have the commercialization of religion and its accoutrements. I am fortunate enough to personally know more than 5 people who are running their own establishments. These range from a bookstore to a tattoo parlor to…well, the others are mostly Pagan oriented shops. While each owner has their own distinct personality, the bookstore is the same as all of the others, the tattoo parlor (with the exception of quality of service) is the same as the others, the Pagan oriented shops are the same as all of the others. Every person who comes across a little bit of money wants to open their own shop for whatever reason. Why are they all the same? Because they have all conformed to what they think the general public wants without any thought to what they, as individuals, want. Or maybe they do so with full knowledge and money is the leading cause. Whatever the case may be, what is missing is the Art.

I have heard from many different people that my essence blends are more effective in ritual and magick than others that are made and sold in the various shops in this area, and beyond. And they are, I should know because I have fully tested and compared each one to my limits before they are marketed and sold. Sometimes I will go on a binge of sorts and create two or three blends in a week and sometimes I will not create for months. Even during my highly creative moments, there is always a process by which additions are made or proportions adjusted after the initial creation.

In order to create, I have to set the mood. Many times this involves changes in music and lighting, other times I am inspired by reading poetry or a highly descriptive work. Other times inspiration comes from a movie or an argument with my husband. Still other, the mood is already in place when I wake in the morning, having spent some time in lucid dreaming. I have even woken up in the middle of the night with a memory or feeling that I absolutely must begin to capture in scent before I can retire once again.

Once the mood is set and I have a particular feeling ready to be evoked, I turn to my oils and slowly begin to remember each scent, one by one. I tend to think of essences in terms of personalities. Some are gentle and silently coax you to leave everything behind you and run away with the wind. Others are immediately beautiful but fade with no depth or lasting impression. There are a few that are high and bright, where you can’t help but giggle with their cheerfulness. Others still must be seduced into submission. Then there are those who must be encouraged to shine amidst other, more recognizable essences, where one precious drop stands between perfection and destruction of the relationship so carefully nurtured. There are scents that are beautiful on their own, such as tuberose, musk and patchouli. Each must be allowed to shine in their own place, in their own time.

At the risk of sounding like a snob, you are not creating anything special or mystical when you mix 4 oils together and appreciate the resulting scent. Just as our emotions are complex, so are the essences inspired by them. My simplest blend contains 9 different scents. My most complex, no less than 15. This is why no one can duplicate my blends and why they smell like nothing else. Smell one, the most practiced nose will not be able to discern the ingredients.

It seems like everyone has decided to become all knowing. Why fully learn an art when you can learn just enough to get by and make some cash? Learn the first five minutes and then move on to the next and call yourself a master. How many mediums do you know who cannot also read Tarot? And how many Tarot readers do you know who do not also offer Reiki? How many Reiki ‘Masters’ do you know who do not also offer spiritual counseling or Life Coaching? Classic cases of Jack of all trades, master of none.

You know the old saying, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining”? Well, don’t rip of the head of a doll, stuff roses down it’s neck and call it a ‘vahz.’

State of the Union

Written by Me at 9:13 am on Friday, February 15, 2008

For Everyone Who Forgot It Was Just A Book

Written by Me at 9:04 am on Friday, February 15, 2008

Obligatory Title

Written by Me at 7:55 pm on Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Yeah, I know. I don’t even want to talk about it in a public post. This particular post is just to let y’all know about some changes happening with the blog.

01) Yes, I did stop blogging for awhile. I had every intention to stop completely yet here I am. Guess that’s just the way it works.

02) This is putting all of you on notice that I have changed dramatically. I am now an angry, bitter and resentful lass which is bound to come through in my posts.

03) If you don’t want to read about things that piss me off, go away. I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass because I will no longer take the ‘high road’ that all of you assholes talk about like you have no other option. I am human, I get angry when someone treats me like shit and gee golly, sometimes I need to vent.

04) I pay for this little parking spot on the ‘Net. I will use it however I like. Go pray for me, light a candle for me or whatever you feel you need to do but I am no longer entertaining the idea that I have to be happy go lucky just because you think I should be.

05) I reserve the right to tell you to fuck off whenever I want to. Commenting will no longer be allowed because I am likely to hurt the feelings of my friends at one time or another and I don’t want to do that. You are advised to take what you read at face value and assume nothing. No reading between the lines.

06) And please, don’t try to have a conversation with me in person or over the phone about anything posted here. Do not email me about it and do not text me about it. Do not come up to me because you think I need a hug and you are the one to make everything go away and miraculously heal my wounds. You’re not. An honest hug is fine. An ‘I-have-to-hug-you-because-I-feel-so-sorry-for-you-and-need-to-let-you-know -what-a-wonderful-person-I-am-to-be-thinking-of-you’ hug is not. You can take that one and choke on it.

Okay. Are we all caught up? Good. Moving forward.